Dear Julian

Dear Julian

2 Seasons

Julian's led a fucked-up life, but he's a survivor and knows a thing or two about love, money, and relationships. If you use his advice, that's fine. But if you don't, he really doesn't give a fuck.

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Dear Julian
  • Government Dicks and Retirement Scrilla

    Episode 1

    Got a fucking problem? Tell Dear Julian! In Episode 1 he gives advice on government fines, investing for a brighter retirement, and what's more important – your buddies or your wife.

  • Banging and Pokey

    Episode 2

    Accidentally made your best friend's sister pregnant and don't know what the fuck to do? Tell Dear Julian...

  • Potatoes in a Bucket

    Episode 3

    Julian has advice for a lonely Swedish stoner, a wannabe muscleman, and a realtor trying to make it in the trailer park world!

  • Playing the Stripper Game

    Episode 4

    Julian gives advice on how to get banged, how not to get banged, and how to deal with someone you don't want to bang!

  • Avoiding the Slippery Slope of Shit

    Episode 5

    Can't get motivated to work out? Solve your problem with one very fucking weird trick! Julian also gives advice on controlling your dope habit, and why you should keep your lust in check on a first date.

  • Piss in the Milk

    Episode 6

    Julian gives advice on how not to lose half your shit in marriage, handling a butter fucker-upper, and how his "Drunk as Fuck" technique can boost your self-esteem!

  • We'll Take Care of It... For $500

    Episode 7

    Wanna know how to stay frisky, make pesky pets "disappear", and whether you should bang married dudes? Julian has the answer!

  • Awesome Greasy

    Episode 8

    Is stripping a good career move? How can liquor get you to third base? How do you deal with a "Jacob"? Julian knows.

  • Cash Will Make You Happy

    Episode 9

    Julian gives some good fuckin' advice on keeping warm in Canada, how a gamer can get his dick sucked, and why an ex-cop should get greasy!

  • Stop Your Fucking Whining

    Episode 10

    Julian tackles shitty kitties, asshole bosses, quitting the smokes... and some really fucking STUPID questions!

  • Pace Yourself, Bud

    Episode 11

    Has The Liquor become a way of life? Wanna quit drinking? Fuck that – Julian gives advice on the best ways to get shitfaced!

  • Go with the Hash

    Episode 12

    Julian gives advice on moving to Canada without a plan, dealing with fucked zombie-fearing neighbours, how to cope in jail, and retiring in your twenties!

  • How Not to Be a Fucking Loser

    Episode 13

    Julian gives advice on overcoming writer's block, starting up a greasy bootlegging business, and how to get out and have fun when you can't be fucking bothered!

  • When Life Gives You a Kick to the Cock

    Episode 14

    Should I sell Grandma's engagement ring to buy honey oil? How can I discipline my fucked-up son? Should I invest my scrilla in China? Julian tackles these questions, and more!

  • Fuck the Government

    Episode 15

    Should I grow dope in my shed? How am I gonna cope in jail? Should I confront my shady neighbours? Julian has the answers!

  • Bang Away

    Episode 16

    Should I bang younger dudes? How do I deal with a douche moocher of a neighbour? Should I smoke hash, weed or honey oil? Julian gives out some more awesome advice!

  • Dick Genes

    Episode 17

    Julian blasts through this week's pile of problems, including shitty tenants, shitty landlords, shitty neighbours, and shitty business ideas!

  • Toughen the Fuck Up

    Episode 18

    Julian gives advice on whether to blackmail a greasy neighbour cheating on his wife, and what to do if you don't like to party but wanna make friends!

  • Get the Fuck Outta Bed

    Episode 19

    To drink or not to drink? That is the fucking question! Also: I can't decide between a good job and smoking weed! I have ADD and can't get out of bed! I keep crying in the shower!

  • Fill Up That Gut

    Episode 20

    How to deal with asshole brothers-in-law, dog thieves, greasy bosses and bad hangovers, and how not to get a job at SwearNet!

  • Get Banged, Get Drunk, Get High

    Episode 21

    Julian is back with advice on choosing a career path, dealing with ‘the one that got away,’ how to handle fucking assholes, and the best way to become a professional wrestler.

  • Move to Sunnyvale

    Episode 22

    It seems a lot of problems could be solved by doing a bit less bitching and a bit more banging. Julian has advice for the recently divorced, the infertile, and the cowardly. Plus: how Americans should deal with their fucked election.

  • Advice from Two Hungover Dicks

    Episode 23

    Ricky joins Dear Julian as the Boys answer viewer questions and do their best to shake off a MEAN fucking hangover. Get advice on salvia, dealing with dicks, and what to do if you ever meet Lahey and Randy.

  • How to Not Piss Yourself

    Episode 24

    The rum is poured and Julian is answering your questions. He has advice on getting money that you are owed from your boss, what to do about shitty ex’s and shitty cousins, and most importantly - how to not piss yourself.